Late in the summer, my partner and I got into the series Six Feet Under on the recommendation of a good friend. We became riveted, and found ourselves watching a number of episodes weekly. For those unfamiliar with it, the show is set in a family funeral home, and it explores the lives of those who must deal with death on a daily basis.
Intelligent writing and unexpected story arcs were only part of the appeal, we soon realized. We found ourselves becoming transformed by the process of having to face mortality in the same way that the funeral directors had to face it - as an inevitability. What always rescued death from its almost banal march through people's lives could be found the emotion it prompted around those who surrounded the deceased - the memories, the connections, the emotions (including complex feelings of regret and anger) and the intangible essence of the departed soul
I've written about the paradox of life and death before, but it has a slighlty different tone for me now. I saw the characters, in a very unsentimental way, struggle with life amidst death. Always they tried to reach for what made them feel most alive, as if to act as a counterweight to what they witnessed. Each had their own way of trying to make peace with that which they realized could not be avoided. Sometimes they made unwise choices, and at other times they redeemed themselves with their sheer humanity.
Our culture often has a way of making violent death 'normal', yet the true feelings and awareness of our actual death are often unmentionable and the reality, as well as the true grief, remain hidden. As I witness some brave souls around me facing serious illness, as well those coming to terms with the onset of advanced age, I am reminded that the true gift of life is found in all that we share while we can.
Intelligent writing and unexpected story arcs were only part of the appeal, we soon realized. We found ourselves becoming transformed by the process of having to face mortality in the same way that the funeral directors had to face it - as an inevitability. What always rescued death from its almost banal march through people's lives could be found the emotion it prompted around those who surrounded the deceased - the memories, the connections, the emotions (including complex feelings of regret and anger) and the intangible essence of the departed soul
I've written about the paradox of life and death before, but it has a slighlty different tone for me now. I saw the characters, in a very unsentimental way, struggle with life amidst death. Always they tried to reach for what made them feel most alive, as if to act as a counterweight to what they witnessed. Each had their own way of trying to make peace with that which they realized could not be avoided. Sometimes they made unwise choices, and at other times they redeemed themselves with their sheer humanity.
Our culture often has a way of making violent death 'normal', yet the true feelings and awareness of our actual death are often unmentionable and the reality, as well as the true grief, remain hidden. As I witness some brave souls around me facing serious illness, as well those coming to terms with the onset of advanced age, I am reminded that the true gift of life is found in all that we share while we can.
